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March 9th, 2012

Don't you get the hint?

Sometimes i wonder why people, males or females, don't get 'the hint'. the hint being the cue to stop trying to come after someone sexually. (this post is going to be short and sweet because i gotta get going) 

-if the person you are after doesn't answer your calls.
-if they don't text you back
-if they 'can't seem to make time to hang out, ever'
-they tell you they don't want to hang out
&-they are short when ever speaking to you.



March 7th, 2012

Do the eye gouge

yesterday i went out with my friend mike. mike, mind you is an ex junkie. he just got back from rehab literally that day (yesterday). as long as i have known him, seven years, the kid has been using drugs. (he is four years older than me) that may give him more of a leeway for starting drugs that early in my day. but either way, class A drugs don't fly with me, or the FDA. when i met mike he was doing a line of blow, and at the moment i wanted him. not because of the blow but because he was very handsome and in your face. it was like tug of war with mike and i's sexual attraction to eachother. i wanted him, he wanted me. this went on for sometime. but not, we're just friends. never once have we had sexual relations, and i don't think it'll ever happen. we're just too good of friends for that.
  but in addition to the blow, mike used to use all types of drugs, speed, coke, junk, E, anything he could get of course. such is a junkie, right? towards the end (of his use) he was using 300 worth of junk a day, straight in the vein too. somehow, we all wonder how mike didn't die of OD or some strange drug issue. but then something clicked, he figured out that reality, "you either stop or you die
On the ride to dinner last night mike was showing off his one month sobriety coin from the program, and god bless him. he's so proud of himself. and i am ecstatic for him, this is a big step for the rest of his life.

i guess you just gotta hope for the best though.

March 5th, 2012

March Goals

March Goals.

-Lose five pounds
-drink 64oz water/day
-don't eat past 8 (struggle central)
-more greens, less carbs.
-workout MWF and Saturday is not busy
-get a tanning package
-be happy.
  So i have just began this livejournal, but mind you i am very familiar with how the website works. first thing i began to do before blogging is going to communities and adding myself/making a first post on them. i joined one called ask_me_anything. it's a pretty neat blog. you type in any question you can think of, such as; do you tip at dinner? what is your workout routine? etc. so me being the creepy intellectual person i am decides to go deep on the question, here it is. "If you were driving at 4am on a weekend with no one in sight and you hit a homeless person (who in theory is escentially out of touch with everyone) and you kill him. there is no chance you could get caught, i mean, there's no one there. would you turn yourself in for the crime?"
  This question is been asked for thousands of years! although in different text, it's all the same. the basic theory is, would a person who committed a crime turn themselves in if there is NO WAY they could be caught? the theory i used is intense, but those kind of thoughts get your mind thinking. 
  when i said the homeless person who is out of touch with everyone. all i meant was someone who has no connection to anyone. aka someone with a job would be noticed that they are gone.  IT'S A THEORY. NOT REAL LIFE. i swear, these people got way too into it. trying to pry details and shit on the theory. there are no details, my dude. i'm sorry that's all. use the other lobes of your brain and imagine yourself there, in those shoes of a murderer, NOW what would you do?

EDIT: (not long after mind you) people are still arguing on the comment thread about if they'd get caught..... smh. YOU CANNOT GET CAUGHT. it's a THEORY
It's 9pm, and here we are. fresh from the blunt cruise. which reminds me, today my doctor asked me if i still smoked cannabis. i replied with yes, that i did still smoke. she then began to ask me how often. she first asked about everyday, i said no. which is a complete lie, i smoke pot various times per day. she then asked if i smoked two days a week, i hastely said yes becuase to be frank, i didn't want to be repremanded by my london born doctor anymore. especially when i come in with a sinus problem, i don't want to hear you complain about my habits when i am in pain, nor do i want to hear anyone talk for that matter. so, kindly shut up.
  but why did i lie? what do i care about the oppinion of my doctor. she doesnt wake me up in the morning or put me to bed at night. i clearly don't care, right? but insanely enough i must care, unconciously i must care about what people think of me. there is no one who can convince me that marijuana is a substance that you can be addicted to physically, only mentally. but what can't you be addicted to mentally? think about this, caffine, fattening food, sugar. all those things your body is addicted to. but yet, no one can nor wants to cut those things from their life becuase it would affect their lives as a whole.
  the way that people think is disgusting to me. why should you consider what i do something that affects your life. does ME smoking pot, and not harming myself AND subsiding my nausia from my medical condition. ah i know what it must be, there must be a drug that she can get me on that will make her money. that must be it, or maybe it's a cruise this time. ya know, the pharm. industry is so gosh darn generous. i wish people would show them more love. 
  so here i am with a sinus infection, a concern what a doctor thinks, and short .8 grams of weed that i just smoked. tuesday, wed and thursday i have classes at university. tomorrow is spanish. my professor is just adorable. and honestly he's good at what he does. while most professors, honestly suck. im friends with one chick in my class. she's cool. we are two of the only white people in the class. and quite honestly there are more spanish people in the class than non. i don't get why one would take a course they know. that's strange to me, and a waste of money. 
          whatever. blah blah. time to burn some more before bed.

First entry, Sort of.

Let me begin with a slight introduction, this livejournal is going to be for ranting, venting, and self use only. all people who follow me, please be warned. this is not going to be  a thinspo blog with purging tips. "how to hide it from your mother!" honey, please do yourself a favor and get some help. it's a dark path, but we'll get on that road later. my first real entry is going to be tonight after smoking a large facial blunt. you will then read about who i am, and what i'm about. along with who i have an issue with today. maybe it'll be the receptionist at the doctors office today, maybe the clerk at the market. who knows, and being forewarned that this blog was going to nonsense, you have no right to complain.

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